LATE BUT IN EARNEST

The above is the family motto of the Kerr family, and it was prompted by a conversation with Andrew J T Kerr, that dedicated Nationalist and inveterate writer of letters; looking at the latest System Three Opinion Poll, he commented to me that the political obituaries for John Swinney, seemed a bit premature. My response was that the media had failed to notice that it was his wedding that had just been held, not his funeral. As it is, the good news in the poll is a bit late, but well meant!

The SSP has gone up a bit, although we seem to have seen more of Rosie Kane than Tommy Sheridan, and the Greens also up a bit, although some seem to be unaware that they do not contest constituency seats! The Others figure has also dropped considerably, but it should be more volatile anyway.

As far as the SNP is concerned this is a good poll, as we are shown in a good light, and, as Alex Salmond pointed out, we are the leading party in Scotland, which is a bit sad for our critics. The poll was conducted by System Three for the Herald, as has been the case for years, and we all know there is no love lost between the Herald and the Scotsman; on the day the poll was published the Scotsman had a big screed on John Swinney, with a singularly unflattering picture of him, but no comment on the poll. I found this puzzling, as I was sure they had mentioned it somewhere, and the Swinney article was the logical home; I eventually found a grudging paragraph squeezed in at the end of an article on bureaucrats, with a picture of a Tory, Brian Monteith. Well, they did acknowledge it!

TORY PARTY IN DENIAL

There was a very indignant letter in the Herald from the Chairman of the Scottish Tories, resenting comments made about their performance, and pointing out how they always did better than the System Three poll, and that thus the poll was rubbish. The man went at great length about how maligned they were, and the poll inaccuracies, but being a Tory, he omitted two points.

The first was that people do not like to admit they are Tories, it is something done by consenting adults in the privacy of the polling booth, but they are happy to lie to pollsters. The second, and more fundamental point omitted, is that the percentage depends on voter turnout; Tories are generally much more likely to vote, and this in itself is a great benefit. One of the political axioms in every election was that the standard equipment for a Tory knocker-up (a person who goes around getting the voters out) was a spade, as they even went to the graveyard! To put it very simply, if there are 200 people voting, and 10 of them vote Tory, then the percentage is 5%; if only 100 actually turn out to vote, and that includes the 10 Tories, the percentage is 10% - Wow!! - Double!!

Naturally, when you take these two factors into account, the Tories do not want to admit the first, as that would be an admission that an awful lot of Tories are liars, but then we are all human, but perhaps just lie about different things. As far as the low turnout is concerned, if they admit that, then they also excuse any percentage drop for other parties, and as they had a good belt at the SNP whose actual vote was down on the poll just before the Scottish Election, as it suffered from the low turnout. Having to admit that your party does better when the vote is low does not play well!

Being of an enquiring disposition, I looked at their total votes in 2003, compared with 1999, to see if their vote had held up, which would have justified the Tory attitude; the result is as follows

NEWS? WHAT NEWS?

When I joined the SNP we had General Elections and local elections and that was it. Now we have General Elections, Scottish Parliament Elections, European Elections, and local elections, even a Referendum; where once we relied on "body heat", we are now into press and public relations, glossy broadcasts, and we have to service our elected representatives, with offices, parliamentary assistants, research assistants, and all the paraphernelia of the modern political world. 30 years ago, we had Alba Pools, run by the late indomitable Angus McGillveray, which financed the Party; now we have nothing like that, as it belonged to a different age.

The Tory Party gets money from big business, or used to, but they are £5.4 million in debt; Labour gets money from big business, and also money taken by stealth from the workers under union dues, and handed over to them, but still manage to be £15 million in debt; for some reason the Liberals manage to be in the black. However the press reporting is vague, to say the least, and confuses income and expenditure with balance sheets, so it is not entirely clear what is happening; to get a clear picture, I would need to get a set of each party’s accounts, and life’s too short for that.

The headlines on Sunday claimed that the Party is now £500,000 in debt.

It was not the best of reports for us but I am emailing to reassure you that things are not as bleak as the press likes to imagine. I am also emailing to offer you a solution.

The press knows that every major political party has debts and yes, we are less fortunate than most of the others because we only have each other to raise money from - no trade unions, no big business.

There are no surprise debts - only controlled financial planning. Last year we took a balanced approach to overdraft management and placed an equal emphasis on building operational muscle for the elections whilst maintaining tight financial control. The result is that our operational debt is £192,252 - the rest of the reported 'debt' is mainly interest free loans the Party has received from our members and local organisations.

It is important that you know we are in control of the debt and have a strong plan of recovery in place. We do, however, need to raise money for the European elections as well as paying off our overdraft.

THE FACT IS IF EVERY PERSON RECEIVING THIS EMAIL SENT A £100 DONATION, THE DEBT WOULD BE COMPLETELY WIPED OUT!

The press wants to demotivate us - let's take the opportunity to do the opposite. Remember, WE ONLY HAVE EACH OTHER - no big business, no trade unions - so please send whatever you can afford NOW!

And thank you - for everything you have done so far!

Here's how to donate...

Online with your credit or debit card by clicking
http://www.snp.org/index_hires.php?pageName=pyp/donate.php

Or send a donation to me, made payable to SNP, at: - "Thank you Scotland on Sunday", SNP HQ, 107 McDonald Road, Edinburgh EH2 4JH.

PETER MURRELL
Chief Executive

Being a kind and caring person, I have forwarded the email to 10 people, who perhaps used to consider me a friend!

WHOSE HOME OFFICE???

However, it is not as simple and straightforward as that; the Ay family has spent the last year in Scotland, in a detention centre which has been more like a concentration camp. The father was deported to Turkey in March this year, and nothing has been heard from him since; Kurds are very much an oppressed minority in Turkey, and in the invasion of Iraq, the Americans had to go into the Kurdish areas of Iraq to prevent the Turks from taking them over. It is forbidden to teach the Kurdish language in schools, and there are a lot of restrictions on Kurds

The case against the Ay family is that they are serial absconders; they stayed in Germany, were refused asylum there, and then they found their way to Britain. They stayed in Gravesend in Kent for three years. What this means is that the father was determined not to take his family back to Turkey, and has done his damnedest to stay here. Britain has now deported the rest of the family to Germany, and the Germans are shocked at the treatment the Ay family received in Britain, or rather Scotland.

Dungavel Detention Centre is in Scotland, and for over a year, the four children of the Ay family, Beriwan 14, Newroz 3, Dilovan 12 and Medya 8, have been living behind barbed wire in this, our country; they have committed no crime. An appeal was launched by various religious leaders and others as follows:

"We wish to make an appeal that this family should be allowed to stay in the United Kingdom. We have no wish to enter into the legal arguments of the Ay family’s application for asylum. Our concern is one of human rights and reparation for what we feel has been a grave injustice committed against them, particularly the four children."

The appeal was signed by Rev John Cairns, former Moderator of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland, the Rt Rev Joseph Devine, Roman Catholic Bishop of Motherwell, Rt Rev Idris Jones, Episcopal Bishop of Glasgow, Rt Rev John Mone, Roman Catholic Bishop of Paisley and chairman of the Catholic Justice and Peace Commission, M Ashraf Anjun, president Islamic Centre, Glasgow, Dr Frank Murphy, former psychological services manager, South Lanarkshire District Council and Bill Speirs, general secretary STUC.

As I said, Dungavel is in Scotland, and as far as is known, is staffed by officers from the Scottish Prison Service; the prison system is devolved , but refugees are the responsibility of the "Home Office". Notwithstanding this, when the Glasgow Herald asked every member of the Scottish Executive "Should the Ay family have been held in a detention centre for a year and was it right or wrong to deport them?" they did not receive any individual answers.

The response from a spokesman for the Scottish Executive was "The Scottish Executive has always made sure that those families who have been granted asylum are made welcome in Scotland.

"That is why we work closely with local authorities and other organisations such as the Scottish Refugee Council to make sure that these families have access to the support and services which they need.

"Scottish ministers are clear that responsibility for considering applications for asylum is not devolved and lies with the Home Office. As such it would be inappropriate for the Scottish Executive to comment."

We would like to think that a real Scottish Government run by the SNP would have responded in a humanitarian fashion and not in the supine, hand washing way the Labour/Liberal coalition did.

The Royal Scots are known colloquially as Pontius Pilate’s Bodyguard.

Pity he didn’t check with his Scottish colleagues; it was the Liberals in cahoots with Labour who came up with the system.

George Galloway’s house in Portugal has been broken into, and his computer, desk and chair stolen; according to Mr Galloway the only thing in the computer was the first draft of his memoirs.

Must be tough being an illiterate Portugese burglar.

The English Shadow Home Secretary, Oliver Letwin, says that the answer to England’s overcrowded jails is to create more open prisons, where inmates come and go to work and the gates are often not locked.

We agree; many prisoners, not guilty of the scale of the crimes of Jeffrey Archer, deserve at the least the same standard he was given. Mr Letwin carefully avoided any reference to the former Tory Party Chairman.

Sir Christopher Foster is the former chairman of the RAC Foundation and was an advisor to the (Tory) government, 1992-93 on rail privatisation.

Sheer coincidence, of course.

According to reports, Lady Thatcher is living in increasing isolation, rarely visited by her political friends; the report says "She has been abandoned and forgotten, with few close friends to share her old age."

Now who was it who said "There is no such thing as society"?

We are at a loss as to why the MoD entered in to such a contract, and why the manufacturer makes them in the first place, as any weapon has to be offensive; it is like a baker refusing to sell you pies because you would only eat them.

BEAVERING AWAY

181,000 POUNDS BONUSES "A SLAP IN THE FACE"
Wed 6 Aug 03

"NO EXCUSE FOR FAT CAT BEHAVIOUR" - CUNNINGHAM

Scottish Water bosses decision to award themselves bonuses totalling 181,000 pounds, despite laying off hundreds of staff and mismanaging the cryptosporidium outbreak in Glasgow, was described as "a slap in the face" today by Shadow Environment Minister Ms Roseanna Cunningham MSP.

Speaking after figures in the publicly owned company's annual accounts revealed that seven directors received bonuses of up to 31,000 pounds, taking their salaries up to between 119,000 and 175,000 pounds, Ms Cunningham said:

"This is a slap in the face for the people of Glasgow and the Scottish Water workers facing the dole.

"Directors are already receiving well over 100,000 pounds a year. To get huge bonuses after their farcical handling of the cryptosporidium outbreak is simply adding insult to injury.

"This is a PR disaster for Scottish Water. Bonuses should be paid to reward success. With hundreds being laid off, and thousands of people's health put at risk by contaminated water, there is no excuse for this fat cat behaviour from a publicly owned company."

Editors Note:

The annual account can be accessed www.scottishwater.co.uk/html/report_archive.html

They show that seven directors received bonuses. The table below details their total pay in thousands ('000's)

78 PERCENT OF CHILDMINDERS HAVE NO QUALIFICATIONS
Tue 5 Aug 03

CHILDCARE MUST BE MOVED UP POLITICAL AGENDA SAYS HYSLOP

The Scottish Executive must increase their efforts to make sure that more of Scotland's childminders have child care qualifications and take action to attract more people into the job, SNP Shadow Children Minister Ms Fiona Hyslop MSP said today . Figures released today show that:

* 78 percent of childminders in Scotland have no qualifications that relate to childcare, a total of 4810.
* Since 1998 there has been a 22.5 percent drop in the number of childminders, down to 6211.

Commenting, Ms Hyslop said:

"Not only has the number of childminders in Scotland dropped by over 22 percent, but it is also very worrying that almost 80 percent of these do not have relevant childcare qualifications.

"Childcare plays a vital part in allowing parents to go back to work, which will help to reduce the number of children living in poverty, but we have to make sure that our children are being cared for by properly qualified people.

"Other European countries, such as Sweden manage childcare more successfully and the Executive should take a leaf out of their book and improve facilities in Scotland to meet demand from parents.

"We have to take childcare as a serious issue. It is imperative for our children's development and the economic future of our country that childcare is moved up the political agenda."

"There is revulsion and disgust at this deliberate attempt to denigrate the late Dr David Kelly, and try to deprive him of his reputation. It is even worse than the infamous Jo Moore e-mail about 11 September being 'a good day to bury bad news' - which ultimately resulted in her resignation, and the fall of a Cabinet Minister.

"There is a palpable collapse in trust and authority at Number 10 that is every bit as serious as the crisis that beset the Thatcher administration in 1990. The damage to the reputation of this government is now so great that it will be impossible for them to recover.

"If things go on as they are, then Tom Kelly will be out of Number 10 by the end of the week, Alastair Campbell will be out by the end of the summer - and Tony Blair will be gone by Christmas.

"In Scotland, the SNP have now overtaken New Labour in the polls - and there is serious slippage in their support UK-wide.

"Having dragged an unwilling country into war under false pretences, causing the deaths of thousands of innocent civilians, it would at least be fitting for Tony Blair to be brought down by the Iraq crisis, and the appalling spinning and fibbing of New Labour that have accompanied it."

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WILL YE GANG, LOVE?
Traditional

My love he stands in yon chaumer door,

Combing doon his yellow hair,

His curly locks I like to see,

I wonder if my love minds on me.

 

Chorus :

Will ye gang love, an' leave me noo?

Will ye gang love, an' leave me noo?

Will ye forsake your ain love true,

An' gang wi' a lass that ye never knew?

 

I wish, I wish, I wish in vain

I wish I were a maid again.

But a maid again I'll never be

Till an apple grows on an orange tree.

 

I wish I wish my babe was born

I wish it sat on's daddy's knee,

An' I myself were deid an' gone

An' the wavin' grass all o'er me growin'.

 

As lang as my apron did bide doon

He followed me frae toon tae toon,

But noo it's up an' above ma knee

My love gaes by but he kens na me.

 

Mak' my grave baith lang and deep

Put a bunch of roses at my head and feet,

And in the middle put a turtle dove,

Let the pople know I died of love.

SCOT WIT
Enjoy a Scottish Joke every week and listen to it as well